ADHD: Understanding Symptoms and Management Strategies

Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADD/ADHD)

How ADHD/ADD Looks and Feels

Living with ADHD/ADD is soooo much more than just being “easily distracted.” It can feel like your mind is a crowded intersection with thoughts rushing in from every direction. Imagine ideas colliding, to-do lists overlapping, and priorities constantly shifting. You might walk into a room and forget why you’re there. Keys, wallets, that important paper you just had, seemingly disappear into thin air. And you know exactly where you left them, right?? Clutter and piles seem to accumulate faster than you can deal with them. Keeping things tidy, including backpacks, folders, and especially their bedrooms, may be close to impossible.

Adults can struggle with impulsivity issues as well. It usually comes in the form of impulsive spending, impulsivity related to relationship decisions, and the impulsive tendency to start something — like a project or a new hobby — without thinking it through.

Deadlines can feel like cliffs that appear suddenly, even if you knew they were coming all along. Simple tasks, like paying bills or replying to an email, can feel like moving mountains. Time has a slippery quality — hours can vanish during hyperfocus. The world fades away as you become so deeply engaged in something that it is your sole focus. Then, when you finally look up, you realize everything else has piled up, waiting for you.

The Emotional Aspect

The emotional side of ADD and ADHD is much less discussed. Feelings of guilt from missing appointments or birthdays, frustration from being misunderstood, and shame when labeled “lazy” or “scatterbrained” are common among people with ADD/ADHD. Lying is a common issue with not only children struggling with ADD/ADHD, but adults as well. Impulsivity causes them to do something without thinking it through, maybe something reckless or something they know is not allowed in your home. Afterwards, they enter (another) shame spiral, feeling guilty about what they did. Rather than accept accountability, because that’s hard, they deny. Why would they tell the truth and risk disappointing you again?

The Positives

Yet, many people with ADHD describe bursts of creativity, humor, resilience, and the ability to see solutions others miss. The same mind that forgets to switch the laundry might also come up with brilliant ideas in the middle of the night. Neurodivergent individuals tend to be fantastic problem solvers who come up with “out of the box” solutions.

Managing ADHD often means learning self-compassion, building systems that support rather than fight your brain, and embracing the unique ways your mind works. It’s not about “fixing” yourself — it’s about finding tools that work (like DBT skills, structure, movement, and mindfulness) that help you swim with the current instead of against it.

The letters ADHD in bright colors with many lines showing different tasks coming off of them and representing impulsivity and what ADD/ADHD feels like
ADD/ADHD feels overwhelming, like your brain is going in many different directions at once, making impulisivity control and decision-making difficult.

Clinical Description

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), classifies ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) as a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by patterns of inattention, hyperactivity, and/or impulsivity that persist for at least six months, interfere with daily life, and appear in more than one setting (for example, at school, home, or work).

There are three primary presentations:

  • Predominantly Inattentive Type (historically referred to as “ADD”): difficulties sustaining focus, organizing tasks, listening, following through on instructions, and frequent forgetfulness.
  • Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive Type (historically referred to as “ADHD”): fidgeting, restlessness, excessive talking, blurting out answers, difficulty waiting turns, and impulsive decision-making.
  • Combined Type: a mixture of inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive symptoms.

Symptoms must be present before age 12 and cause meaningful impairment in academic, occupational, or social functioning, in order for a diagnosis to take place.

*Important to Note: While this is not specifically mentioned in the DSM-V, ADHD tends to appear differently in boys versus girls. Distraction occurs more frequently in girls. They may be very chatty or talkative (all of my neurodivergent girls), and become more easily hyperfocused. Boys are more likely to have classic hyperactivity. Many boys display disruptive and impulsive behavior, leading others to view them as a behavioral problem. Diagnosis in boys also tends to occur earlier on than in girls.